Elephant 'assaults' woman?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090916/tod-skorean-police-to-investigate-zoo-as-7f81b96.html

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

damn the young elephant hooligans, no respect for anyone

Did the investigating police need their trunk-tions?


I have no excuse, I really don't.

Even for you that was bad

I know, I know.

It was better than the other ones I rejected though, trust me.

you came up with worse than that?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Yup, I really did.

your going to have to tell us them now so we can all see how bad they are

Nope. They were very, very bad puns. Talking of which, one of my all time fave sketches: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxIS_snYrLA

Really wish I could work out how to embed this stuff!!!

Look at the you tube page there is a link which says imbedded in it. Copy the lot and paste it into your quick reply box.

I love Big Train.

as for bad elephant jokes here's some of the best/worst:

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"



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Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.



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Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"



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Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.



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Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)

man those are like the Mary Jane jokes

there once was a little girl called Mary Jane and as she was walking through a field she saw a flower growing out of a pile of shit and she started laughing and laughing because she knew the flower didn't do that all by itself

there once was a little girl called Mary Jane and as she was pushing her sister in a pram she bent down to tie her shoe and the pram rolled down the hill and she
started laughing and laughing because she knew there was a stop sign at the bottom.

there once was a little girl named Mary Jane and she was sitting on the porch with her gran and she said "look gran look there's a quarter (25 cents) in the street - so the gran walked into the road and was runover by a car and Mary Jane just started laughing and laughing because she knew it was only a penny.

and I'll stop there

I've never heard of Mary Jane jokes before.

Frag Kebab wrote:I've never heard of Mary Jane jokes before.

well you are lucky - those come straight from the bowels of Louisiana and Texas

I don't think they made their way over here. Will have to look in to them.

NO!!! WHY!!!

I like looking in to humour from around the world. Cultral differences and whatnot.

Here you go then chappy, here are some jokes which are funny (apparently) in German but when translated into English somehow lose their humour:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
low self-esteem.

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her
drug habit.'

P.S. They are from a website that seems to have been set up purely to wind Germans up.....which I for one don't understand....

you've obviously never seen indie German zombie flicks

there I was expecting the usual chomp chomp much munch sans subtitles and in the middle of it for whatever arbitrary reason "zer iz hardcur fooking" and it wasn't even zombie fucking

Awesome! Did they get eaten or just gobbled?

ICHI wrote:Awesome! Did they get eaten or just gobbled?

ze hardcur fooking is just arbitrary and has absolutely nothing to do with the plot - it's like they know a dirty girl so "yes we put ze hardur fookin in"

for gobbling and eating refer to Grub Girl and Porn of the Dead - which are rubbish - too much hardcore not enough gut munching - there is also Porno Holocaust where a zombie goes around raping women with his massive dong - it's neither recommended or not recommended - too much straight sex and not enough horror

Zombie Strippers is better entertaining zombie munching without the gobbling [not hardcore]

the one horror film that seems to be porn for me is The Ebola Syndrome - not exactly sure why but everytime we put it on in less than half an hour I get all forceful - I'm like right - get your kit off - oh wait I'm not suppose to tell anyone about that