Comedy Quotes

Ok, so noticed a lot of folks round here are avid comedy watchers,
I've heard some gems of recent, and thought we'd start a comedy quotes thread (partially blaming Frag and Ichi for their comedy sigs). Recently heard on live and forum: fwiendy fwiend (inbetweeners) - winding Dong up LOL

some of my faves:

never put jam on a magnet (Eddie Izzard)
you twist and turn like a twisty turny thing (blackadder 2)

take it from there folks, if it made you chuckle, slap it in here, there are many harry hill and gervais gags that I could have posted but didn't.

"I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them!" Dogma
"Know how I knew you were gay? You like Coldplay.'' 40 Year Old Virgin
"What's the etiquette on boners? Do I role over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?'' Eurotrip

that was tough... there's waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many

anything that comes from the genius that is Karl Pilkington!!

Jinksie wrote:anything that comes from the genius that is Karl Pilkington!!

that man is a god

One which makes me laugh when i think about it, is what Groucho Marx said on his death bed!

" Either I'm dead, or my watch has stopped"

Bloody brilliant, even at the end of his life!

One of my all time faves from SPACED

Tim: "You've got some paint on you"

Brian: "It's a literal tribute to the self-reflexivity of Rembrandt"

Tim: "Did he like it?"

Brian: "He's dead..."

Tim: "Bloody hell that backfired a bit didn't it!"

aiplane -

"surely you cant be serious"
"I am and dont call me shirley"


or airplane 2...when Ted Strikers psychiatrist is in court -

"can you give the cort your impression of Mr Striker"
"i'm a psychiatrist i dont do impressions"


probably not the exact quotes as im going from memory...but hillarious

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy