Rate the last film you watched

lol, there is plenty more like......................ooops better not ha ha

lol

Jeez, I could have told you the plots to all of them...and any future ones.

JK Rowling nicks someone else's story......there's a ginger kid in it......there's a girl which if you fancy her means you're going ona register......JK Rowling gets richer and you'll never get that hour and a bit of your life back!

(not that I'm strongly opinionated against her or anything )

On the plus side check this out: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8192979.stm

How is that on the plus side who'd let Tom cruise adopt! Or did he knick oprah whinfreys kid after he electricuted her to death with his hands!?!?

Not the Cruise Kid part but the fact that they're making a new Red Dawn....a classic.

There was another film a bit like Red Dawn. I think it was called 'Toy Soldiers'. It had one of the hobbits in it, and the Crusher kid from Star Trek.
I think they used drug barons instead of Russians, but the rest has been deleted from my mind (thankfully!).

Where they take over the school! I remember toy soldiers sort of

Yeah, that's the one!!

Splatter Farm

****WARNING IF EASILY OFFENDED READ NO FURTHER*****

an old sov release from the 80's and I'm going to share with all of you the details of this film so that you do NOT have to ever watch it

First these twins go to visit their Aunty in the middle of b.f.e. and find their hick nephew in full make-up having a wank at the kitchen table - at which point I and I think any reasonable person would say "hey great to see you mate but now I'm off" - but no they don't but these aren't the brightest of teen twins who are attempting to grow their first moustaches - about 15-20 minutes you realize they must be congenitivly defective.

well to make a long story short there is stump fucking, spoogey blood dripping, cats eating vomit and then you see the old Aunty in the basement telling a corpse she is so lonely as she reaches into the open fly of the corpses pants and pulls out penis dust

and I haven't even reached the disturbing parts

we'll just call it Granny rape as in Granny drugs teen lad, tells him she won't be lonely any more and next scene is this mass under covers humping wildly up and down - cut to scene of teen lad under the covers passed out - granted you never actually see any sex but what is implied is so horrific I can't even replicate the look of horror or mortification that griped me

just so I can share the wealth here's the Granny raper herself



after this one of the twins is assaulted by his hick cousin in make-up and wearing a John Deere tractor shirt - who proceeds to urinate in the cousins face and then fist rapes him - pulls it out and its covered in what could only be described as melted Cadbury's finest and gives him an ultra sanchez - stabs him in the genitals with a pitchfork and well...

cut later to a confrontation between the granny raper and the hick (in Robert Smith of The Cure make-up gone wrong) she's upset because she is going to be lonely now and hick boy finds out that who he thought was his father re mothers husband is actually her brother and he is a product of rape - shoves some ice pick thing in the crotch of polyester leisure slacks and then you realize its some firecracker rocket - she explodes into lots of leisure slack wearing pieces and hick dances around naked in a field probably stump fucking again...

yep that's it that is how I spent my Tuesday night what about you? I blame The Hubb

That actually sounds like something i'd watch

I did have to scroll back up to see if it was you who posted it, Ichi!!

Cool Runnings (bbc1) - 9/10
and overlapping on ch5 - splash - 9/10
john candy on 2 channels at once - woo hooo

ROBAFET wrote:Cool Runnings (bbc1) - 9/10
and overlapping on ch5 - splash - 9/10
john candy on 2 channels at once - woo hooo

I sort of met John Candy once - many many years ago he went into a club in New Orleans and me and a friend dared each other to go grab his arse - so we did in unison and when he turned around surprised - I quickly asked "where the fuck is Wally World?" as opposed to just running off like my friend did - he just looked at me - half smiled and shook his finger that was pointed at me and said "you little..." I didn't catch the last word as I think it was starting to dawn on me in my drunken haze that I had just goosed - groped Uncle Buck

That's amazing, izorpo. I'm strangely jealous of you!

Frag Kebab wrote:That's amazing, izorpo. I'm strangely jealous of you!

hmmm...I should have added that it's why to do this day I can't watch a John Candy film - I get embarrassed and it reminds me that I have the word twat written across my forehead. The Hubb claims we sexually assaulted him - he may be right - we both used both hands - but in our defence there was an awful lot of arse to grab

bwahahahaha - Bet old John loved it really.
That film with the granny in sounds worse than bad boy bubby.

just watched the ugly truth with the misses last night and i'm suprised how funny it was it was brilliant I was in stiches. Not my norm of a film but u got to keep the ladie happy from all the sci-fi and glad i did 9/10

Right then, got through three films this weekend.

1) 17 again - Zac Efron (or whatever his name is) errm......well......she enjoyed it becaude he took his top off and apparently he's old enough for women to perv over.
Not a patch on Big but then I wasn't expecting it to be.

2) Outlander - seemed to me to be an attempt at following the 13th Warrior style film but with an alien instead of an Arab and with an alien monster instead of weirdos who live in a cave and wear bear skins.

3) Gran Torrino - bloody hell! What an absolute cracker of a film. Clint at his best in front of and behind the camera. If you watch it with your female better halves invest in a big box of tissues.....even I got a bit of a frog in my throat at the end

well I trawled through tghe bottom of my dvd collection while waiting for the internets 2 get thru....

One) Freddy Got Fingered- This is v silly but at the same time awesomely awesome, I still rofl at the sausages multi-tasking scene

Two) Die Hard- 1 word- Brilliant

Three) Ferris Bueller's Day Off- Really like this, so clever!

While wandering around HMV waiting for the missus to spend her birthday money I picked up a copy of Doom for £3. Well worth it its a great little brainless action film (just dont expect great plot twists).

Gran Torino is an awesome film, I fully agree with Lemony its Clint at his best. I thought the ending was top notch stuff.

I loved Gran Torino. However, the missus sister said, and I quote, "It was boring. Clint Eastwood is a rubbish actor, I don't know why people let him make films, he's crap".

It makes me happy when I disagree with people that consider Jermey Kyle and Big Brother to be good tv.

If I had known you had seen it we could have really bored them by discussing it in the tram

Frag, please may I have:

1) Your Mrs's sister's name
2) Full postal address
3) Mum-in-law's name
4) Full postal address

Don't ask me why........it's a secret.

kermit1981 wrote:If I had known you had seen it we could have really bored them by discussing it in the tram

The missus herself actually enjoyed it. I'm slowly expanding her appreciation of film.
She still lists Armageddon as one of her fave's though, so it's slow going (I'm all for mindless action films, but there's better out there than that!).

We should have discussed the Usual Suspects instead!